I’m back for another week of poetry. It’s fun to look back on the early days of my children’s lives. I’m still living through Jude’s early days but Marcella’s are past me now, a theme I explore below.
Emerge – Week Two
This week we’re singing our labors and births and reliving the hazy newborn days.
The waves…they come.
Go within…deep within.
There’s a quiet place, a place of strength.
Trust that it’s there for you.
Your body knows. It was made for you to do this for you.
This moment, it has been anticipating.
It’s magic right now.
Peace, mama. Rest, mama.
What a birth day, a perfect day for a birth day.
I was waiting for you, you know.
I didn’t know it was you though.
You are here, and I didn’t even know it was you.
You beautiful boy, what a perfect day for a birth day.
Did you know? Did you plan it?
Or was it the magic of everything working together?
Were you anticipating just like me?
Nevermind, it doesn’t matter, I’m just glad you’re here.
This birth day is our day. Let’s just enjoy it.
You came in the morning. You came with the sun.
With waves through the night, you came.
And I couldn’t have picked a better birth day for you.
Happy Birthday my baby, happy birthday my son.
A girl, Marcella,
Her name, she lives up to it.
My warrior girl.
These days it’s a quick snack
Pop off, pop on
And sometimes that little sharp tooth, your only one, it gets me.
But it’s still magical.
I rememeber when you would nurse for almost an hour
Then 30 minutes later, you would nuzzle for more.
I was always happy to provide.
Sore sometimes, yes, but well worth it as you slept on your magical pillow.
Nursing you to sleep is my favorite.
The slowing down, slowly, slowly
The eyes drooping, close.
Sometimes you unlatch yourself, sometimes you stay
And then your mouth, it still flutters even when you lay sleeping.
I don’t know when the magic of this time will end for us.
But I’m thankful for this magic, while the magic lasts.
Your milky smiles
and gazing eyes
You mostly sleep
Giving love in your newborn way
I know this time is short
So I soak it all in
All in all day
At night I watch you sleeping
The rest of life is faded
It recedes to the background
No task is more important
Nothing else can take me away from you my baby love
In the beginning
The Mama knows
She knows her baby
He has rested and nestled
He has been part of her
He still is
He is one with her
As he nurses
He sleeps next to her
And she knows him intimately
No one else knows him like this
No one else can
No one else has cradled him in her body
The Mama knows
It is behind us now
I still close my eyes and see it though
Your crying days where I cried, too.
Your laughing days and we all laughed with you.
Those sweet, frustrating, resplendent baby days
You’ve written all the stories you’ll write
About a time I’ll always cherish
All those firsts, breezes away now.
I long for it and your sweaty head on my arm late nights
Even when I begged for one tiny inch of space I didn’t get.
Cheeks and chubby limbs
Your own unique word for mama’s milk
All of it raced by
I didn’t have time to embrace it all.
Oh the things I would have done differently
But oh the things I wouldn’t.
Sweet baby girl no more, I see you growing, growing
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